It is my 23 birthday. Act accordingly.
WARNING If you get sent a link saying “click here to watch the new Twilight trailer”, don’t click it! The link is to the new Twilight trailer.
The Farm is being cancelled.
- Papa: That squash that you just come and got is the last you're gettin'.
- Dad: What the fuck?
- Papa: I was down there in the garden pickin' shit and moved over some leaves. There sat a pygmy rattler, ready to fuckin' strike. I pulled a cucumber from the vine and chucked it at his ass. Hit 'em square in the face. Then I beat him to death with that cucumber, so I'm burnin' that whole goddamn thing to the ground.
- Dad: Keep the tomatoes.
- Papa: I'll keep the tomatoes.
THEY WERE SO FUCKING GOOD. I ALMOST DIED. ALMOST.
I hate you I hate you I hate you. AND I WANTED THAT SHIRT